Where the Wild Things Are

If you're looking for someone to wax nostalgic or talk about how many times I cried (spoiler alert: zero) during Where the Wild Things Are, then you've come to the wrong place. Yes, I read the book when I was younger, and I took the time to reread all 10 pages the other day in the bookstore. Maybe it was because I wasn't a dumb child or because I'm not a late 30's hipster now, but I have no affinity for the book, so I was watching the movie for what it was: a movie, not some love letter to a very overrated children's book, and as a movie, WtWTA is an absolute mess of a movie.

The first twenty minutes or so are actually pretty great, which makes the end product all the more disappointing. Max Records is pretty great as Max, the rambunctious, bipolar little pain in the ass who we follow on his journey. Through the opening, we see everything that we need to know about Max. His relationship with his older sister who is more concerned about her friends. His relationship with his mother and how he is affected by her relationship with Mark Ruffalo. There are some great character moments in opening, especially Max's reaction to something his sister does. It was beautifully heartbreaking and made me wish that we get could get a movie all about Max's life that doesn't involve massive puppet orgies.

Sadly, like most wishes I make, it fell on deaf ears and I was subjected to 90 minutes of wild things. I respect director Spike Jonze more than I could ever explain on this blog (more on that in a moment), and I respect all the work he did to get his passion project to the big screen, but the biggest problem is that WtWTA is a movie that never should have been made. There just isn't enough story and plot to drive the movie along in any sort of satisfying way. Maybe Jonze should have teamed up with Charlie Kaufman for a third time. I'm sure that would have brought about a satisfying script, though I doubt kids would have any interest. Nothing about the wild things was comelling in any way. Look, a giant dirt fight. A ball-shaped house. Really weird owls. I get that this was not an adventure film, but is more about emotion. And I get the allegory of the wild things, but that doesn't mean that I have to care. There are some good commentaries on childhood, but it is all just kind of left hanging in the end. There is really no satisfying resolution.

Back to Jonze, the guy has a great vision for movies. He's extremely modern, and likes weird, off-beat stuff, but his previous two films have been great. Technically speaking, his third film is great too. The cinematography is wonderful and the fact that the wild things were done using puppets really blew me away. The eyes were so amazingly expressive, that I almost cared about the monsters. Then I realized that they are all so one note and predictable that I didn't. The practical effects and action scenes were also visually impressive, but still emotionally hollow.

At the end of it all, I really don't know who this movie is for. It's all about kids and their issues, but it is in no way a kids movie. It's too boring and unconventional for mainstream audiences. It feels to me like an opportunity for older movie nerds to look back and go "That's right, I was a child. Thanks Spike!" Looks like the artsy kids and the bearded weirdos can have their day in the sun. As for me, let me know Where the Wild Things Are, so I can stay as far away from there as possible.

DVD Rundown: Land of the Proposal from Hell

Drag Me To Hell (Full review here)

You might know this movie as the one you saw the trailer for and thought "Hmm, that looks terrible." Well, that's true. The trailers were terrible because they advertised a straight horror movie, which this is not. What we got was a fun horror comedy that I absolutely loved. I love this movie so much I'm surprised that I didn't try to make out with the screen after it was over. The combinations of gross out gags and actual scares might be off putting to some (mainly those who don't enjoy fun), but I really believe this is a horror movie that transcends the genre. Also, Alison Lohman might be the cutest person of all time. FINAL VERDICT: I've already bought both the standard DVD and the blu-ray, but you should probably rent it first to see if it's for you. But rent it right now.

Land of the Lost (Full review here)

While Land of the Lost is certainly not laughless (nearly impossible to contain Ferrell and McBride for a whole movie), there is really nothing redeeming about it. The entire movie is a mashup of weird sketches that lack any cohesive narrative. For a $100 million, we deserved a lot better than this. FINAL VERDICT: Not offensively bad, but not enjoyable. Skip it

The Proposal (Full review here)

Ugh. This piece of shit again. While it probably isn't the worst movie of the year, and isn't "one of the most unrealistic representation of human beings I’ve ever seen", but it is really not good. It is just sloppy across the board. Every joke and plot element is choreographed for a mile away. Then again, I tend to view movies with a harsher eye than some of my simpler readers, so it might be the thing for you. FINAL VERDICT: If you are looking for characters, humor, or enjoyment, then you should look elsewhere. Otherwise, it's worth renting.

Zombieland

Aside from slasher flicks, zombie movies might be the most overused and unoriginal properties out there. Now, I'm not referring to Romero's classics or even Snyder's remake of one of those classics, but to whatever crap zombie movie Romero is making now or Resident Evil: Redundancy. Peruse the horror aisle at Blockbuster like I often do on Saturday night, and you'll see that there are even more bad zombie films out there than you could possibly imagine. There are so many bland takes on the genre, which is why it is so refreshing to see a movie that deals with zombies in a fun and original. Welcome to Zombieland.

While I doubt the lead role was actually written for Jesse Eisenberg, it fit him so perfectly that it might as well have been. As the meak, cowardly, extremely phobic Columbus, Eisenberg rattles off a continuous list of rules for how to survive in Zombieland. Not only is this list funny, it is presented in an even funnier way, making for one of the more enjoyable opening 10 minutes of a movie in recent memory. For my money, I'll take Eisenberg over Cera in a battle of who can be more nerdy and awkward. Cera may be funnier, but Eisenberg gives a heart and emotional depth to his characters that I have never seen from Cera. Equally as good as Eisenberg is Woody Harrelson, who is basically as far opposite of his counterpart as humanly possible. Yes, it's a simple buddy movie formula, but when it is surrounded by zombies and executed to flawlessly, it leads to the perfect framework of the movie. On the flipside, the best things I can say about Emma Stone and Abigail Breslin is that they don't make Eisenberg and Harrelson worse. The performances are very solid, especially since they aren't asked to do much, but the characters feel kinda flat and one note, and their actions throughout the film make absolutely no sense at times.

Though Zombieland is being advertised as a horror comedy, it is certainly more of the latter, and almost none of the former. I can think of maybe one scene that had an actual scare in it, and it wasn't anything special. While I'm saying the movie is not scary, I don't mean it as a bad thing. It is so funny and so well executed that it might be the best comedy of the year. Juxtaposed to that humor is some crazy violence and tons of gore. The kills and blood are certainly not for the squeamish. By the time the third act rolls around (more on that in just a second), we are witnesses to one of the better and more original movie shootouts.

At the risk of sounding like a Zombieland hater, there are problems with this movie, and most of them come in the third act. Since the tone of the movie is light and comedic throughout, when it tries to become darker and more intense later, it feels forced and unbelievable (although, there is an emotional scene earlier in the film that deals with who Harrelson was before the outbreak that is perfectly done). To be honest, the entire third act feels forced due to actions by some of the main characters that just don't make sense. It is as though the writers realized they'd wrapped up the story and then had to throw a plot device in there just because it could be cool (and it is, for the most part).

Regardless of the criticisms I have, I still love the movie. It is fun, original, comedic, gory, and violent. I really don't know if there's a better combination for a movie out there, and when it's executed as well as Zombieland is, it makes for a great time at the movies.